Well hello again! I have decided to bring this blog back up after a LONG time just cause I didn't feel like making a new one! :)
Here's to a brand new beginning with a new man, a new life and I will update you all about what had been going on in my life :)
xo,
domi
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Didn't you know..?
Being ignored I think is the worst punishment than going straight to hell.
This post, my emotions are angry and emotional. I feel like someone just ripped me apart and they damn well know they did. The saying "What goes around, comes around" will bite you in the ass so badly that you'll be the one laying in your bed crying in the middle of the night because of the worst punishment ever.
Get out of my head, get out of my heart. I don't want to have anything ever to do with you again.
You have no idea as to who I am, and how much I care so much for everyone. You will never meet someone like me ever in your life who cares as much as I do, ever.
And to be ignored and out of your life is the worst torture anyone could ever put me through. But everyone says that I shouldn't let you know that your punishment is working on me. I don't care if you know because I know you don't care. You never did care anyway. I thought you were my best friend, but then again I had no idea what you thought or how you felt because you can't feel, obviously since you are doing this to me.
You're so heartless.
And like I said, you'll end up being a lonely lonely person if you continue to stab people in the back.
I'm not sorry for what I said, or what I did, or how I felt. Because I am 100% honest.
I feel sorry for you, oh I really do.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Anyway, this song has been stuck in my head all day. So this is the song of the day;
This post, my emotions are angry and emotional. I feel like someone just ripped me apart and they damn well know they did. The saying "What goes around, comes around" will bite you in the ass so badly that you'll be the one laying in your bed crying in the middle of the night because of the worst punishment ever.
Get out of my head, get out of my heart. I don't want to have anything ever to do with you again.
You have no idea as to who I am, and how much I care so much for everyone. You will never meet someone like me ever in your life who cares as much as I do, ever.
And to be ignored and out of your life is the worst torture anyone could ever put me through. But everyone says that I shouldn't let you know that your punishment is working on me. I don't care if you know because I know you don't care. You never did care anyway. I thought you were my best friend, but then again I had no idea what you thought or how you felt because you can't feel, obviously since you are doing this to me.
You're so heartless.
And like I said, you'll end up being a lonely lonely person if you continue to stab people in the back.
I'm not sorry for what I said, or what I did, or how I felt. Because I am 100% honest.
I feel sorry for you, oh I really do.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Anyway, this song has been stuck in my head all day. So this is the song of the day;
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Broken in Two.
Loss.
I feel like I'm going through what I did a year ago, and I am. I can't deal with these emotions and feelings of despair anymore. All of my despair 5 years ago would have lead to uneventful destructive behavior. Right now all of my destructive behavior runs like scenes over and over in my mind. Why? Well, every time I am hurt I want people to eat their words and feel regret. Selfish right? Perhaps so, but it's the way we human beings are. But no one wants to feel the actual loss, it's a pain unbearable when you can never see someone you love ever, ever again. Every day is painful and you swear it's all a terrible dream. But you can't wake from it.
How can you just walk away without understanding or knowing or wondering?
One simple dishonest answer is natural in human beings. No one is out to get anyone and you can't expect honesty in everyone.
Since you no longer wish to speak to me or see me physically, I can only resort to these words on your computer screen. Hopefully this will reach to you somewhere, where ever you may be on this stormy night...
Happiness. That's all I can say, that's all I felt when you were with me. I loved hugging you, I felt like I was being sent to another place inside of my heart. I never felt like that before in my life. You were my shining light.
My explanation for my negative behavior had to do with the negativity of life. I wanted to live in my own bubble where we were locked away with no need of leaving each other.
It was so painful for you to leave the last time I saw you. I tried to tell you how afraid I was because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I started to feel like my world was crumbling underneath me and no one was there to catch me before the fall.
I didn't go to you, and you were right, I should have gone to you, but you were so busy with your own worries why should I burden you with more unnecessary stress? So, off you left and who would have known that that would have been the last time I'd ever see you again.
As I slip back into my own thoughts, my own world, my only lonesome and depressed world, I'll just stay and wait until the wind whisks me away from this very spot.
I'll always find a way to keep you right here waiting, I'll find the words to say to keep you right here waiting.
Forever more,
xoxo,
domi
I feel like I'm going through what I did a year ago, and I am. I can't deal with these emotions and feelings of despair anymore. All of my despair 5 years ago would have lead to uneventful destructive behavior. Right now all of my destructive behavior runs like scenes over and over in my mind. Why? Well, every time I am hurt I want people to eat their words and feel regret. Selfish right? Perhaps so, but it's the way we human beings are. But no one wants to feel the actual loss, it's a pain unbearable when you can never see someone you love ever, ever again. Every day is painful and you swear it's all a terrible dream. But you can't wake from it.
How can you just walk away without understanding or knowing or wondering?
One simple dishonest answer is natural in human beings. No one is out to get anyone and you can't expect honesty in everyone.
Since you no longer wish to speak to me or see me physically, I can only resort to these words on your computer screen. Hopefully this will reach to you somewhere, where ever you may be on this stormy night...
Happiness. That's all I can say, that's all I felt when you were with me. I loved hugging you, I felt like I was being sent to another place inside of my heart. I never felt like that before in my life. You were my shining light.
My explanation for my negative behavior had to do with the negativity of life. I wanted to live in my own bubble where we were locked away with no need of leaving each other.
It was so painful for you to leave the last time I saw you. I tried to tell you how afraid I was because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I started to feel like my world was crumbling underneath me and no one was there to catch me before the fall.
I didn't go to you, and you were right, I should have gone to you, but you were so busy with your own worries why should I burden you with more unnecessary stress? So, off you left and who would have known that that would have been the last time I'd ever see you again.
As I slip back into my own thoughts, my own world, my only lonesome and depressed world, I'll just stay and wait until the wind whisks me away from this very spot.
I'll always find a way to keep you right here waiting, I'll find the words to say to keep you right here waiting.
Forever more,
xoxo,
domi
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Why'd you have to go & make things complicated?
Finding love in all the right places, but at the wrong time.
My Granny calls me a social butterfly...I hope that doesn't apply to love. She says if you make me idle for long I'm off somewhere else to find a new flower to gain entertainment from. And sadly, my personality is that. But my memory isn't that, I'll always remember the warm fuzzy feelings. But I am afraid, so afraid that my heart won't skip a beat when I see the boy of my dreams again. Or get giddy over late night conversations about the silliest of things...
I feel like I am isolating myself from the fuzzy-ness that makes love so much fun!
I really really really think I'm in love, I would just like to feel the emotions.
Being alone gets tiresome, and now it is time for me to retire.
avoir!
xoxo,
domi
My Granny calls me a social butterfly...I hope that doesn't apply to love. She says if you make me idle for long I'm off somewhere else to find a new flower to gain entertainment from. And sadly, my personality is that. But my memory isn't that, I'll always remember the warm fuzzy feelings. But I am afraid, so afraid that my heart won't skip a beat when I see the boy of my dreams again. Or get giddy over late night conversations about the silliest of things...
I feel like I am isolating myself from the fuzzy-ness that makes love so much fun!
I really really really think I'm in love, I would just like to feel the emotions.
Being alone gets tiresome, and now it is time for me to retire.
avoir!
xoxo,
domi
Monday, March 29, 2010
The simplest joy in children.
It's 1am and my house is crazy. I wish that things were simpler and parents weren't going balistic over the fact that teenagers do as they please. I wish that I had a little sister or brother that was at the simple age of 3 or 4, just the pleasant-ness they give off at the simplest of things. Nothing complicated or feelings that hurt us. Just the instant gratification of everything being theirs.
I hope to be a child photographer, as well as a wedding photographer. But as of right now I love to see the joy they have in the littlest of things.
Some of my photos I'd like to share;
My little Jewel Bug looking for fairies before sunset.
We found leaves!
This picture makes her look grown up...it's quite frightening since I remember her as a wee 2 year old. My, how time does fly.
I can't believe she'll be 7...
Playing "Airplane"! :D
My sweetheart<3
Meet Tasha Beck <3 Matt's other younger cousin! :)
She may have a temper and attitude, but I love her <3
Her Personality.
I don't see her as often, but I love her the same<3
And I think she doesn't mind...
Thank you for allowing me to share my feelings today.
xoxo,
domi
I hope to be a child photographer, as well as a wedding photographer. But as of right now I love to see the joy they have in the littlest of things.
Some of my photos I'd like to share;
My little Jewel Bug looking for fairies before sunset.
We found leaves!
This picture makes her look grown up...it's quite frightening since I remember her as a wee 2 year old. My, how time does fly.
I can't believe she'll be 7...
Playing "Airplane"! :D
My sweetheart<3
Meet Tasha Beck <3 Matt's other younger cousin! :)
She may have a temper and attitude, but I love her <3
Her Personality.
I don't see her as often, but I love her the same<3
And I think she doesn't mind...
Thank you for allowing me to share my feelings today.
xoxo,
domi
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Oh please, help me get what I want, but I don't know what I want.
I think I should keep my mouth shut before it tears me apart on the inside or for the fact that I may get into trouble with those who always question how I feel.
But...I can't help it and I have free will to express how I feel. Especially when I am frustrated beyond belief that I even surprise myself with the fact that I at least recognize it and try to change my behavioral pattern. Attempting some self control to something- maybe someone, actually...someone rather addicting, takes a lot of strength.
In a very unusual way he makes me feel like everything and worthless,
all at once.
We are the same, and it's like looking at myself every time we are together. I think to myself, 'Is this how I make others feel when I am near? When they get wrapped up in my warmth, is this the reason why they always want more of me..?'
I at least now understand more than I did yesterday.
I haven't cried in days, maybe a week or two so far and I felt very content with being happy. But the happiness can't always stay, the same way that the sun won't shine forever. So, when the sunshine goes away, the sadness will linger around to stay.
I know I say I surprise myself all the time, but it's the truth, I always end up surprising myself.
Tears welled up in my eyes, at first I was shocked that these feelings could possibly be so overwhelming that it compelled me to feel this way, and second, I immediately stopped and realized that I was stupid.
I have a bad habit of getting wrapped up into something that makes me feel good and happy that I never want it to end. I get selfish and I seek more, more than I may need. I should be happy for what I've got. Then again, like a child...I cry because I can never get what I want. How silly of me to feel the way I feel. I just wished that they could see that that is how I feel. But, I know how to turn around my feelings and be like how I was before.
It's all a game to them and you have to play by the rules to win the game. Never let your guard down because in the end you will only have yourself.
Emotions play a fickle role in this game.
They could either be in your favor or abandon you completely.
And I will not let anyone see me fall as they have all done so in the past.
But I am a loving creature, and for a fact I know that what I say about never letting anyone win won't last very long. Because I will adore and adore until I get pushed back down. Until someone gives me a reason why they hate me and don't want me around.
I stay like a good puppy, till I am wished away.
xoxo,
domi
But...I can't help it and I have free will to express how I feel. Especially when I am frustrated beyond belief that I even surprise myself with the fact that I at least recognize it and try to change my behavioral pattern. Attempting some self control to something- maybe someone, actually...someone rather addicting, takes a lot of strength.
In a very unusual way he makes me feel like everything and worthless,
all at once.
We are the same, and it's like looking at myself every time we are together. I think to myself, 'Is this how I make others feel when I am near? When they get wrapped up in my warmth, is this the reason why they always want more of me..?'
I at least now understand more than I did yesterday.
I haven't cried in days, maybe a week or two so far and I felt very content with being happy. But the happiness can't always stay, the same way that the sun won't shine forever. So, when the sunshine goes away, the sadness will linger around to stay.
I know I say I surprise myself all the time, but it's the truth, I always end up surprising myself.
Tears welled up in my eyes, at first I was shocked that these feelings could possibly be so overwhelming that it compelled me to feel this way, and second, I immediately stopped and realized that I was stupid.
I have a bad habit of getting wrapped up into something that makes me feel good and happy that I never want it to end. I get selfish and I seek more, more than I may need. I should be happy for what I've got. Then again, like a child...I cry because I can never get what I want. How silly of me to feel the way I feel. I just wished that they could see that that is how I feel. But, I know how to turn around my feelings and be like how I was before.
It's all a game to them and you have to play by the rules to win the game. Never let your guard down because in the end you will only have yourself.
Emotions play a fickle role in this game.
They could either be in your favor or abandon you completely.
And I will not let anyone see me fall as they have all done so in the past.
But I am a loving creature, and for a fact I know that what I say about never letting anyone win won't last very long. Because I will adore and adore until I get pushed back down. Until someone gives me a reason why they hate me and don't want me around.
I stay like a good puppy, till I am wished away.
xoxo,
domi
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
If you can dream it, you CAN do it.
So...it is official as of 9:03am, I am now going to be a Disney Cast Member!
I am so excited!!! I didn't expect an email so quickly! Although Merchandise was a role I wasn't choosing as first pick but I don't care!!!!!!!
I AM GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!! :D
I now officially work for the Mouse :]
P.S.- I will be creating a new blog, under the same name just a different one separate for my Disney experience.
So keep checking for updates!!!
M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E!!!
MICKEY MOUSE!
xoxo,
domi
I am so excited!!! I didn't expect an email so quickly! Although Merchandise was a role I wasn't choosing as first pick but I don't care!!!!!!!
I AM GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!! :D
I now officially work for the Mouse :]
P.S.- I will be creating a new blog, under the same name just a different one separate for my Disney experience.
So keep checking for updates!!!
M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E!!!
MICKEY MOUSE!
xoxo,
domi
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