Winter days..

I just realized that time is passing by so quickly and I'm feeling so alone already. I hate knowing that after these couple of weeks of being with Matt are going to soon be only a memory. Kind of like how Christmas is. An anti-climatic celebration of happiness, but I don't feel so happy for some reason. I've suddenly caved into my own hole, I'm surprised though because I've been so happy for the past month. And now I'm so emotional that it's driving me crazy. Maybe it's because the year is going to end and I have to be afraid of the future as I get older like a silly little kid. Ugh, I honestly shouldn't be so selfish. I hate just thinking about the things that make me sad because it makes me more sad. I'm thankful for the friends I've got and the most amazing boyfriend with a loving family that adores me. I've got it all, and the perfect parents that love me so much as well. And to show them how much I love them so, I got them [well, Shawn and I] 8Gb ipod nano's which was pretty sweet. I felt really giving this year. It didn't feel like it was all about me, it just felt like I wanted to see the shine in my parent's eyes again. They took us to Disney in the beginning of the month to top Christmas, and it was so damn magical that I felt so happy that I could cry. So, in order to see them really happy, I got them something they didn't expect. But they got me something I didn't expect! Rockband 2. So now my family and I are going to rock out. These are the days I want to cherish for the rest of my life. I love them and I love the people who love me.
Maybe I'm so sad because I miss Neenie so much...well how funny, this day 2 years ago she passed away. And I'm feeling the same way I did that night before she died.
Neenie is Matt's Great Grandma and I loved her to pieces. I just hope she is watching over us...
This year was really sad, so many deaths of people close to us. I just hate it so much. But we have to deal.

I just don't look forward to going to College again all by myself.
I hope I get into UCF, cause I really really want to be with Matt and Cesar and Dexter.

Hopefully I will make the best of this winter break that's left..