"What goes up, has got to fall".
Maybe it's my big ego, yet I know I have done nothing wrong [or have noticed] that I have been doing all the wrong things. Communicating when I should just give up, to look on the bright side of things and to just move on with my life. It is such a hard thing to do when all I do is sit in the misery of things and contemplate if life is worth it.
If I wasn't so miserable with certain situations I'd go out and say that my life is by far "perfect". Well, I hate to bust my own bubble but it isn't. Everything has become so difficult. The once perfect world where no one gets hurt in any way shape or form has come into my slippery hands as a fragile glass. There we go, what am I to do? I can't juggle this glass or else it will shatter [no big surprise there]. My brain is wired and thoughts are thrown askew and I don't think I can get it together.
Words such as "hate" and "fate" are way too alike that it's insanely ridiculous that people can hate me. Through out my entire life I tried to be so good to not hurt anyone, I just ended up becoming the person hurt. I didn't want to hate anyone so I wouldn't wind up being one of the hated. Everything I tried to do has basically been all for nothing. There are those who stand by me, and then there are those who absolutely loath me. What's the point of a strong front? Everyone knows I crumble under the slightest harshest words. Criticism is hard for me to grasp because I try so hard to because so perfect. The perfect friend, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect daughter, the perfect cousin, perfect niece, perfect granddaughter. It's all tearing me apart to a point where I just am now laying back and taking it all in. Who cares if people hate me? Who cares if I'm not perfect? If people are to be in my life they have to accept me. If they don't accept me then they aren't people you want in your life. I'm done trying to apologize for things I am not sorry for. I didn't do anything wrong in any situation, I will only apologize until I see fit to do so.
No one will get the best of me, I have to sing my heart out and spill my anguish, dwell on it for a couple of moments and realize the better things I have in my life.
The sun still rises and so shall my hopes for a better future.
Everything I do, think or say happens because I am the one who MAKES it happen.
And I say, "fuck it"!
Here I am, alive and kicking, no sorrow in my heart except for the love I am opening up in my heart for others.
Love me or hate me.
Take your pick, either way I'm still here standing.
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