Besides that I've been hanging out a lot with my friends with a mix of working and going to school. I must say that having a car really is great because you never miss a beat with anyone. Life is good, and I still feel incomplete somewhat. I feel like I am missing something or someone in my life and I can't put my finger on it. Do I know what I want? Of course not... Do I like what I have? Yes I sure do...
I just don't know what I'm searching for and I wish I had something or someone to fill in that empty void. Maybe it's loneliness that I am sensing that is creeping up on me in some way, but this feeling makes me feel confused and unsure of anything. I guess I'll figure it out sooner if not later.
Lately I've been wanting to write a story just like my friend Trevor has been doing for awhile now, that way I can write what's on my mind in fictional form to help me cope with all these problems that bother me so much, or things that make me happy.
These self conflicts really don't get solved with other conflicting opinions from others who have been in the same position as me, I guess this is my transition from 'Girl' to 'Woman' and I don't feel ready yet, my birthday may seem like it's far away but it's just around the corner in my head. 20 just seems so old. It makes me sad and it makes me miss my teenage years of making mistakes and being able to only worry about myself rather than having real world responsibilities. That's why I've been trying to live it up now and end my teenage years with a real bang! I hope my 20th birthday is at least going to be memorable, haha.
Now back to more interesting stuff besides my insane crazy growing up worries.
Trevor and I hang out a lot more than we used to and I am so glad I found a friend in a boy like him. Finally, someone who can take the words I say of anything good, bad, silly, ridiculous, break it down, tear it apart(in a realistic way) and help me analyze what I do, which has helped me so much in understanding me and who I am and how I react to certain situations. Now without another view in the things I say then I would just never grow from things I dwell on. He is the realist and I am the idealist, he's a great friend and when he reads this he better know that he's special. It's no wonder Sarah loves this boy so much, he is pretty much awesome in a package.
Anyway, I've been thinking about going for the whole Disney College Program again, but this time I am not going to audition to be a performer. I will just go for something that suits me just fine and dancing in a hot sweaty suit isn't for me. God has something better for me and I just have to patient about it.
I think this is going to be the end of this blog.
The next post might be a story, not sure yet but you'll find out.
Yesterday was an amazing day with friends;;
Me, DJ, Noelle and Seth(not photographed) hehe
xoXo,
domi
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